If you’re in a relationship, you’ll probably know what the ‘honeymoon phase’ is and what it feels like. For me, it feels like that excited/butterflies feeling before you see them. Everything is new and exciting, you’re experiencing things for the first time with that person, you’re learning new things about each other, and – let’s cut to the chase – things are definitely more flirtatious and sexual.
If you’ve followed my blog for quite a while now, you will know that I’m in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend Aaron. We’ve been together for nearly three and a half years now, so it’s safe to say we’re definitely out of the honeymoon phase.
Even though mine and Aaron’s relationship turned long distance three months into our relationship, I’d still say our honeymoon phase lasted for around a year. You can just tell by reading back on our messages. They’re longer and a bit more ‘lovey-dovey’ if that makes any sense at all.
Being in a new relationship also means wanting to try and cram in all the fun things that we could in. Of course we still do fun things together as we love being in each other’s company, but something just felt different in the first few months. Everything was still a little bit nerve-wracking and all felt very new. Going out for dinner with Aaron felt all so new to me, as I’d never really done this with anyone before in a romantic way.
When I look back, I can’t really remember a particular moment where I was like yep, we’ve officially boarded from honeymoon phase station. I think it’s definitely a gentle transition. We just became more and more comfortable with each other and over time began to realise we knew each other inside out. We’re also able to speak about pretty much everything without feeling embarrassed or afraid. And yes, farting and other bodily functions is definitely not an issue anymore (gross but hey, we’re all human!). We just laugh about it.
Sex also isn’t as much of a big thing when you’re well into a long-term relationship. Yes, we do still have sex and enjoy each other’s company in that way, of course we do! However, you learn that there’s more to a relationship than sex.
In the first few months, it’s fun to experiment and it’s all new, so you’re bound to be all over each other that bit more, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But there’s also nothing wrong with being more laid back about it. We love each other, we find each other very attractive and we’re not going to force it because we feel that we have to. I definitely think social media is a big factor in glamorising relationships and sex lives.
It’s also important to realise that it’s okay to argue sometimes. In my opinion, I’d be more concerned if we didn’t argue. Of course we are going to disagree on certain things, and of course we are going to bicker about a load of nonsense and then think, ‘what were we even arguing about again?’. Sometimes we do get upset or get angry, but that’s life. Everyone has shit days and sometimes we take that out on those who we love the most without even realising it. At the beginning of a relationship, you might feel afraid of arguing or saying what you truly feel. But now it’s just important to us that we are honest with each other, and we know that things will be alright in the end anyway.
Do I miss the honeymoon phase? Yes and no (but definitely leaning more towards no). Yes, that feeling of getting to know someone new and falling in love is so special, and at times I wish I could feel those butterflies all over again. But, falling more and more in love with that person over the years and that person becoming your best friend is something unlike anything else. You realise that there’s no one else you’d rather spend time with and you feel so grateful to have another half of you to support you, laugh with, cry with and make memories with.
Are you in a long-term relationship? What did the transition from the honeymoon phase to long-term feel like to you?